my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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