I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
