Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
