honey bunches of taint.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
