I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
