either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We had to coat check the pizza.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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