I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
