Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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