he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
