i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
