Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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