Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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