i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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