so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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