I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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