My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
