I want to make a zoo with you.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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