Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
