Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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