She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
