watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
