I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
