just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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