Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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