If you die in college, do you die in real life?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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