I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
