Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
