I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
