i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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