We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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