my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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