I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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