I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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