guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
