Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
