so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
