And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
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