He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
