Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
