Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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