Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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