You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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