Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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