you guys were way drunker than both of me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
