I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
