the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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