You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
