I wish i was in the wii world.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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