i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
