nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
