i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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